THE CHILDREN'S CONTRACT The kids come first, and the two of you split what's left. From "The Marriage Contract" (sample draft). This is a starting point for discussion, not a finished legal document and not legal advice. Each spouse needs an independent lawyer licensed in their state. [Bracketed] numbers are placeholders for you to decide. Words in [[double brackets]] hand a decision to a judge or arbitrator: they are the "luck of the draw" terms. ABOUT THIS CONTRACT The idea. In a divorce with children, the default treats the adults' finances as the main event and the kids as a separate file. This contract reverses the order. Before the adults divide anything, the children's education is funded, their home is secured, and the two households they'll be moving between are kept from drifting too far apart. The spouses then divide whatever remains. The catch. The law won't let you bind a court on custody or child support, which is what Article 8 of the default says and what Chapter 17 explains. So this contract does its work with the tools the law will enforce, which are property, spousal support, insurance, and wills. It then adds a Parenting Pledge, which isn't binding. Courts read pledges like this and often give them weight, but they don't have to. Who it suits. Couples who have kids or are planning them. Blended families too, where Article 9 of this contract matters more than any other. What it costs. Both adults come out with less, and they get it later. The house can't be sold when one of you wants out, and the parent who moves out may wait years to collect their share of the equity. THE ARTICLES Article 1. Purpose and priority. The Spouses agree that upon dissolution the stability, education, and security of their children take priority over the division of property between the Spouses. The provisions of this Agreement shall be applied in the order in which they appear. In English: The kids come first and we come second. The articles apply in the order they're written. Article 2. Children's fund. Before any division of marital property there shall be set aside (a) for each child, into an education savings account, an amount sufficient to bring that account to [$X] multiplied by the child's age in years; and (b) into a joint account requiring both signatures, a reserve equal to [twelve] months of the children's ordinary expenses. In English: Before the two of us split anything, we fund each child's college account and set aside a year of the kids' expenses. Article 3. The nest. The family home shall not be sold until the youngest child completes secondary school, unless both Spouses agree in writing. The parent with whom the children spend the majority of overnights shall have the right to occupy it. Mortgage, taxes, insurance, and major repairs shall be shared in proportion to the Spouses' gross incomes. The occupying parent pays utilities and routine upkeep. Upon sale, net equity shall be divided equally, including appreciation after separation. In English: The kids keep their house until the youngest finishes high school. Whoever has them most of the time lives there. The two of us share the major costs in proportion to income and split the equity when it's finally sold. Article 4. Two households, one standard of living. While any child is a minor, the Spouse with the higher income shall pay spousal support in the amount required so that the after-tax, after-child-support income of the two households, measured per household member, differs by not more than [20] percent. The amount shall be recalculated annually upon exchange of tax returns. In English: The kids shouldn't live well at one house and poorly at the other. Until the youngest turns 18, support is set so the two households stay within 20% of each other per person. Article 5. Beyond guideline child support. Child support shall be not less than the amount required by state guidelines. In addition, the Spouses shall share in proportion to gross income (a) uninsured medical, dental, and mental health costs; (b) child care; (c) tutoring, activities, and summer programs up to [$X] per child per year; and (d) for each child, undergraduate tuition, room, and board up to the cost of attendance at the flagship public university of the governing state. In English: We pay guideline child support at a minimum. We also split the extras in proportion to income, and we cover college up to the in-state public price. In many states a court can't order parents to pay for college, but a contract can. Article 6. Insurance. Until the youngest child reaches age [23], each Spouse shall maintain (a) life insurance of not less than [ten] times that Spouse's total annual obligations under Articles 4 and 5, payable to a trust for the children; and (b) disability insurance if reasonably available through employment. In English: If one of us dies or becomes disabled, the kids are still provided for. Article 7. Caregiver credit. For each year in which a Spouse, by agreement of both, works less than half-time in order to care for the children, that Spouse accrues a credit equal to [15] percent of the other's gross earned income for that year, payable upon dissolution from the other's share of marital property. In English: This is the same credit as in the No-Surprises Contract. Staying home with the kids earns the at-home parent a share of the other's pay for those years. Article 8. Everything else. Marital property remaining after Articles 2 through 7 shall be divided equally. Separate property remains separate, except that the family home is subject to Article 3 regardless of title. In English: Whatever is left gets split fifty-fifty. Separate property stays separate, except the house, which belongs to the kids' plan no matter whose name is on it. Article 9. Wills and later marriages. While any child is under age [25], each Spouse shall maintain a will or trust leaving not less than [one-half] of his or her estate to or for the benefit of the children, and shall not enter a later marriage without a premarital agreement preserving that share. This Article is enforceable by the children. In English: If either of us remarries, our kids can't be written out. A later spouse has to sign a prenup that protects the kids' share of the estate. Article 10. Relocation costs. A parent who moves more than [thirty] miles from the family home shall bear all additional costs of transporting the children between households. In English: We can't bind a court on who's allowed to move. We can agree on who pays for the plane tickets, and it's the parent who moved. Article 11. Process. No Spouse shall file a contested motion concerning the children without first attending [three] sessions with a mediator or child specialist, except in an emergency. Neither Spouse shall call a child as a witness or ask a child to choose between parents. Fees for parenting disputes shall be paid equally, and shall not be paid from the funds set aside under Article 2. In English: We try a mediator before a courtroom. We never put a kid on the witness stand, and we never pay lawyers out of the college fund. Article 12. The Parenting Pledge (not binding). The Spouses state their present intention, for the guidance of each other and of any court, that after separation: (a) the children's schedule will favor stability of school, friends, and activities over equality of parental time; (b) neither parent will disparage the other in the children's presence; (c) both parents will have full access to school, medical, and activity information, and both will be welcome at the children's events; (d) major decisions about education, health, and religion will be made jointly; (e) neither parent will introduce a new partner to the children until the relationship has lasted [six] months; and (f) neither parent will move the children's primary residence more than [thirty] miles without the other's consent or a court order. In English: This is how we intend to behave. A court doesn't have to follow it. It's here so that a judge, and each of us on a bad day, can see what we promised when we were thinking clearly.