National organizations, free or low-cost where possible. Web addresses change, so search by name.
Drawn from the book: Appendix E and Chapter 17.
When you aren’t safe
National Domestic Violence Hotline. Phone 1-800-799-7233. Text START to 88788. Chat at thehotline.org. Open at all hours. Advocates help you plan for safety, including money, pets, and whether to leave the state with children.
Unchained At Last. For anyone being forced into a marriage or trying to get out of one, including those wed as minors.
Eldercare Locator. Phone 1-800-677-1116 to reach adult protective services near you if an older relative may be under exploitation, a sudden marriage included.
Abuse, when there are children. Most states presume against awarding custody to someone who has committed domestic violence, but the presumption works only if the court hears about it. Raise it with your lawyer right away. Keep dates, photographs, messages, and medical records somewhere safe, and ask about a protective order. Before taking the children across a state line without a court order, get advice: it can backfire badly even when your reasons are good, and an advocate can help you seek emergency jurisdiction instead. An accused parent will sometimes claim the other turned the children against them, and courts have at times been too ready to agree, so look for a lawyer who has handled domestic violence cases in front of your local judges.
Legal help
State bar referral services. Most charge less for a first consultation.
LawHelp.org. A state-by-state list of free legal aid for civil cases. Income limits apply, and children and abuse get priority.
Court self-help centers. Forms, instructions, and at some courts a staff attorney who can review what you’ve filled out.
Limited-scope lawyers. Many states let you hire a lawyer for a single task. Any lawyer can tell you whether they do it.
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. A directory of experienced family lawyers, best for complicated money.
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. For Medicaid and long-term care planning before marrying late in life.
Outside the courtroom
Academy of Professional Family Mediators, or your state’s mediation association. These mediators also help with prenups and postnups as well as divorces. You each still need your own lawyer to read the result.
International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. A directory for collaborative divorce, in which both lawyers quit if the case heads to court.
Government
Social Security Administration, ssa.gov. Benefit rules and calculators for spouses, former spouses, and survivors.
IRS Forms 8857 and 8379. The first asks for innocent spouse relief. The second is the injured spouse allocation.
AnnualCreditReport.com. Free credit reports, and the only source the federal government authorizes.
County clerk or recorder. Confirms that your marriage license was actually filed.
US State Department, Office of Children’s Issues. International parental child abduction.
If you’re in danger, none of the rest of this site matters yet. Call 1-800-799-7233 first.