Three versions of each term

Everything either of you earns while married belongs to both of you, no matter whose name is on it. In nine states that means half each. Everywhere else it means whatever a judge thinks is fair, and in a few states the judge can dip into the premarital and inherited stuff too.

Everything is ours, including what each of us brought in and anything either of us inherits. The only exceptions are the ones we list on Schedule C. Nobody ever has to dig up old bank statements.

Everything either of us earns while we're married gets split fifty-fifty, and that includes retirement contributions, stock grants, and the growth of a business.

What you brought in stays yours, along with gifts and inheritances, as long as you keep it completely apart and can prove it with paperwork years later. If you mix it, retitle it, or improve it with marital money, some or all of it becomes "ours."

Everything is ours, including what each of us brought in and anything either of us inherits. The only exceptions are the ones we list on Schedule C. Nobody ever has to dig up old bank statements.

What you brought in stays yours if you keep it in your own name, and so does whatever you inherit. If you put it in a joint account, it becomes ours. The one exception is a down payment on the family home, which you get back dollar for dollar with no growth.

Debts get split like assets. The bank isn't bound by the split. If the decree says your ex pays the joint card and your ex doesn't, the bank comes after you. You may also owe your spouse's hospital bills.

All debts are shared, except money spent on an affair or at the casino.

Family debts are shared, and premarital debts stay with the person who brought them. A student loan taken out during the marriage becomes shared after five years.

After the divorce, the person with more may have to pay the person with less. How much, and for how long? In most states nobody can tell you in advance. A few states use a formula, and a few are stingy on purpose. In a handful, cheating can cost you your alimony.

The higher earner pays 35% of the income gap. It runs for as long as the marriage did, or until retirement age if the marriage lasted 15 years or more. There are no fault penalties.

The higher earner pays 30% of the income gap. The duration vests: nothing if the marriage lasted under three years, half the length of the marriage up to twenty years, and until the payer's retirement age after that.

No separate credit. A judge may take it into account in setting support, or may not.

The one who stepped back from a career gets a retraining fund off the top.

For every year one of us stays home or goes part-time for the family, that person banks 15% of the other's pay for that year. It's paid out if we split. We both know the rate going in, so nobody has to argue about it later.

Part of the division, like everything else. The judge decides who keeps it, if anyone.

We split everything down the middle. Whoever needs the house more can keep it, and can take up to five years to pay the other one off.

Either of us can buy the other out of the house at the appraised price. If we both want it, or neither of us does, it gets sold.

With no will, your spouse gets a large share of everything. If your will cuts your spouse out, your spouse can override it and take a guaranteed minimum. Georgia is the exception.

We each leave the other nearly everything. We keep the beneficiary forms pointed at each other and carry real life insurance while the kids are young.

The default death rules stay in place. We show each other our beneficiary forms every five years, which is the step that prevents most of the horror stories.

There's one judge and no jury, and the judge has so much leeway that appeals almost never work. Most people settle, which means they end up bargaining over a guess about what that judge would do. Each of you pays your own lawyer unless the judge decides otherwise.

We try mediation first. Both lawyers get paid from the joint pot, so neither of us can outspend the other.

We give each other thirty days' notice before filing. We try mediation first. If that fails, a private arbitrator decides the money questions. If one of us turns down a fair offer and then does no better, that person pays the other's legal fees.

The rules are whatever they are in the state where you end up, on the day it ends. Either of you can change them by moving.

Not addressed, so the rules of the state you live in when it ends.

We pick one state's rules now and take them with us. Most courts honor this, though not all do.

The legislature can change your deal whenever it wants, and it doesn't have to ask you.

We reread it every five years and at every big life event.

We reread it every five years and whenever something major happens. Any changes get made properly, with lawyers and signatures.