A worksheet for the contract you already have
This is the exercise from Chapters 2 and 36 of the book, on one sheet. Print it, or copy the table. It takes about an hour, it needs no lawyer, and nothing on it commits either of you to anything.
| # | What it says (the default, in most states) | Surprised you | Surprised your partner | Chapter | Decision | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Parties You, your spouse, and the state. The state didn't come to the wedding and didn't send a gift, and it can change the deal whenever it likes. | ☐ | ☐ | 5 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 2 | Governing law The rules are those of whatever state you're living in when it ends. Not where you got married. You can swap contracts by changing zip codes, and nobody will tell you that you did. | ☐ | ☐ | 22, 23 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 3 | What you earn Everything either of you earns from "I do" until you split is ours, no matter whose name is on the account. If you split up in one of nine states, it gets cut down the middle. Anywhere else, a judge decides what's fair. Good luck. | ☐ | ☐ | 11, 13, 14 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 4 | What you brought What you owned before the wedding stays yours, and so do gifts and inheritances. That holds unless you deposit it in the joint account, put your spouse's name on it, fix it up with marital money, or live in a state where the judge can take anything. Keep the paperwork. For decades. | ☐ | ☐ | 12 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 5 | What you owe Debts get divided like property. The credit card company didn't sign your divorce decree and doesn't care what it says. Also, you may owe your spouse's hospital bills. | ☐ | ☐ | 8 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 6 | Support while married You're legally required to support each other. No court will do a thing about it until one of you has moved out. | ☐ | ☐ | 7 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 7 | Support afterward A judge may order one of you to pay the other some amount for some length of time. If you think that sentence is vague, you've understood it. | ☐ | ☐ | 15, 16 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 8 | The kids Not yours to negotiate. Child support comes from a formula. Custody gets decided when the time comes, by whatever a judge thinks is best for the kids at that point. Anything you signed in advance is a suggestion. | ☐ | ☐ | 17 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 9 | Death Die without a will and your spouse gets a big share. Die with a will that cuts your spouse out, and in almost every state your spouse gets a guaranteed minimum anyway. | ☐ | ☐ | 9 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 10 | The federal stuff Sign a joint tax return and you're each responsible for all of it. Your spouse has rights in your 401(k) that only your spouse can sign away. And the beneficiary form you filled out at your first job beats your will, your divorce decree, and this contract. | ☐ | ☐ | 10, 8 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 11 | Fights One judge, no jury, a huge amount of discretion, and almost no chance of winning an appeal. You each pay your own lawyer, by the hour. | ☐ | ☐ | 3, 28 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 12 | Changes by you You can rewrite the money parts, before the wedding or after it, if you follow some picky rules. You can't rewrite the parts about kids, the feds, or the judge. | ☐ | ☐ | 29 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 13 | Changes by the state Anytime, with no notice, and usually applied to you. | ☐ | ☐ | 4 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ | |
| 14 | Getting out Death or a judge. Saying "we're done" doesn't count. Neither does ten years of living apart. | ☐ | ☐ | 5 | keep ☐ change ☐ ask ☐ |
Take the sheet and three questions to a one-hour consultation:
Before you go, look up your state's Luck of the Draw score and its page. The full texts of the default contract and three alternatives are on the contracts page, licensed so you can copy and change them.
This worksheet and the summaries on it describe how the law generally works. They aren't legal advice, and no lawyer has reviewed them. The summaries are the English version of the term sheet in Chapter 1.