Read your marriage contract this weekend

Ten jobs, easiest first. The first seven are free.

Drawn from the book: Chapter 36.

Your state wrote your marriage contract, and you can read it without hiring anyone. Do these together if you can.

1. Beneficiary forms, 15 minutes. See who is actually named on every retirement account and life policy, including those at old jobs. If you stop here, you’ve still done the most useful thing on this list. The checklist.
2. Your state, 20 minutes. Its page tells you which property system you live under, who pays a spouse’s medical bills, and the minimum a widow or widower is owed.
3. The two-page version, 30 minutes. Mark up the term sheet separately, swap, and hold the argument for later.
4. Ownership questions, 20 minutes. Answer four of them apart, then compare. A different answer means the two of you have been counting the same asset two ways.
5. Debts, 30 minutes. Trade lists of everything you owe and compare them with your free credit reports at AnnualCreditReport.com. Expect a surprise: a forgotten store card, an old student loan, a co-signature for a sibling.
6. Records, an hour. Dig out the account statement nearest your wedding for anything you owned beforehand, because banks keep records for only about seven years. While you’re there, find your most recent joint return, the final decree from any earlier marriage (the filing doesn’t count), any IVF consent form, and the pet’s microchip registration.
7. Two numbers and a date, 15 minutes. Each of you writes down, alone, what split of everything you own would feel fair if you parted tomorrow, what one year out of paid work for the family is worth as a slice of the other’s pay, and when your financial partnership started. Compare. Splits that add to 100 mean you already agree on the largest term in the contract. Most couples add to about 120.
8. Paperwork, an afternoon and a modest fee. A will, a health care proxy, a signed form naming who runs your funeral, and a durable power of attorney. Second marriages and children from earlier relationships need more than a simple will. Unmarried couples have no other protection.
9. One hour with a family lawyer. Ask what property and support would realistically look like if you divorced now, and what judges nearby tend to do. A range is a good answer. One confident number isn’t.
10. Decide. If the default suits you, say so in writing, date it, and revisit it in five years or when you change states. If you’d change a few terms, take the list to a lawyer for what should be a short meeting; the contracts may already have the wording. If you disagree about something big, you’ve found that out cheaply, and a mediator can help you write something down.

Don’t do this together if you’re afraid of your partner, or if your partner controls the money or tracks what you do. Do jobs 1, 2, 5 and 6 quietly on your own, store copies somewhere your partner can’t get at them, and speak with an advocate before telling your partner anything: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233. Other places to turn.